The best gifts a woman could give a man

If you are a woman and undecided about what to give your man during his birthday, valentines day, christmas, or any day really, then hopefully the below list of possible gifts will help give you an idea about what your man and your back up man wants from a woman.

1. A divorce.
   1. Because god only knows why he would still be with you.
   2. So he can be a part of the mgtow movement and be successful while you move onto the next victim.
   3. Because a man isn’t a bro until he’s mgtow.
   4. I mean you do want to tell him the truth right?
   5. Or do you just like telling him what you like to hear?
   6. When you finally admit that a divorce would be in his best interest then he should get at least half of your estate.
   7. If he was unfortunate to have kids with you then during the divorce procedure you should pay him child support payments to help him raise any future kids he might have with a more successful woman than yourself.
2. Buy him a multi-story house.
   1. So he doesn’t have to be financially responsible for a mortgage.
   2. All of that financial responsibility will be on your shoulders.
   3. So if you are delinquent with the mortgage payments then it would be your responsibility and not his.
   4. Odds are you won’t be able to make the complete mortgage payment on time consistently so in that case your credit score will go down and not his.
   5. So he can enjoy all the benefits of living in a no cost to him home being payed for, provided by, and taken care of by you.
   6. So he can live on an entirely different floor away from you.
   7. I mean he already has to listen to you whine like a child during the day.
   8. At least give him the nights to himself so he can sleep in peace and silence.
3. Do home repairs yourself instead of constantly pestering him to do them.
   1. So he can do things that he wants to do while you take care of your guys’ family and dwelling.
   2. Odds are you’re not mechanically inclined, so in that case you should hire and pay for an expensive handy man to do the simple jobs that you weren’t equipped to do in the first place.
   3. You never know, the handy man might even be your next master.
4. Buy him a high end luxury car.
   1. Because he needs a reliable mode of transportation if he ever needs to get away from you during one of your monthly mood swings.
5. Buy him a 5G enabled smart phone with an unlimited data plan.
   1. Such as one of the new iphones or android phones.
   2. So he can have an expensive phone to not only enjoy owning but to have in case he needs to quickly call someone during one of your emotionally charged childish temper tantrums.
6. Pay for all of his bills.
   1. Including but not limited to his health insurance, car insurance, mortgage payments, all utility bills, grocery bills, restaurant tabs and tips, home repairs, etc…everything.
   2. You should pay for all of his bills so he can use his own money to buy things that only benefits himself and not others, not even you.
7. Buy him dividend growth stocks.
   1. So the dividend growth stocks could help supplement his monthly social security income when he retires.
   2. So the dividend growth stocks could help financially sustain him if you ever chicken out on paying him child support.
   3. Any money you have left over from providing for him and paying his bills should go directly into purchasing high quality stocks for his own stock portfolio to make sure that he has a reliable next egg during his retirement years.
8. Buy him a cruise vacation.
   1. So he can get away from you while enjoying the tranquil time by himself and sight seeing popular destinations around the world in peace and quiet.
9. Buy him a luxury yacht.
   1. So he can get away from you whenever he wants.
10. Buy him an online business.
    1. So he can work from home and not have to work at a secular workplace like you will for the rest of your miserable life.
    2. So he can succeed in life.
    3. So he can feel good about himself.
    4. All while you continue to fail in your MLM cult.
11. Take him out to eat at fancy restaurants as often as possible and on his schedule and pay for all of the food bills and tips.
    1. You have to drive him to and from the restaurants.
    2. And pay for all of the tabs and tips.
    3. He should also sit at his own table so he doesn’t have to constantly listen to you complaining about your miserable life.
    4. I mean seriously, he already has to put up with you at home.
    5. At least give him a much needed break when you are treating him to a high class restaurant.
    6. Others are watching you know.
    7. And you wouldn’t want to embarrass him when he’s sitting next to you.
12. Tell him positive things about himself.
    1. On a regular basis.
    2. To make him feel good.
    3. To help balance the negative things you say about him behind his back to your girlfriends.
13. Buy him a dog.
    1. Because a dog is a man’s best friend, not a woman.
14. Let him choose the tv channel to watch.
    1. Because it takes a certain kind of man to watch as much dramas, home lifestyle, and cooking shows as you.
    2. If he wants to watch sports, then let him watch sports.
    3. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like his tv interests.
    4. He does.
    5. It’s his life.
    6. So stop telling him how to live his own life by making him watch your ridiculous tv shows.
    7. I mean good god in heaven!
15. Buy him an expensive spa treatment get away.
    1. Just let the pro’s style his hair and trim his beard.
    2. They’re much more knowledgeable in that area of expertise than you are.
16. Let him take a bath first and by himself.
    1. So he doesn’t have to worry about you using up all the hot water.
    2. So he can read a book and relax in a warm bubble bath without having to listen to you complaining about your frazzled looks and life mistakes.
    3. If he uses up all of the hot water, then when it is your turn to bathe yourself just fill up some pots and pans of warm water so you can add to the cold bath water.
    4. If it takes to long then in that case you can always go out back and use the garden hose.
    5. If you need to be groomed, then you can always visit one of the local stables.
17. You wash his clothes.
    1. While he’s relaxing in the bathroom taking a warm bubble bath.
18. Worship him for the king that he is.
    1. Enough of your emotional self pitiness.
    2. No one wants to hear you whine, not even the cats that follow you around behind the dumpster at night when your visiting with your secondary significant other.
19. You buy all the food in the house that you bought.
    1. You also have to buy all the snacks and drinks for your husband.
    2. What, you don’t want to provide for the man that you “love?”
    3. What kind of wife are you?
    4. Oh you’re just a girlfriend?
    5. What, you don’t have what it takes to be a wife?
    6. Lol.
    7. You’re not practicing the laying on of hands on other men are you?
    8. Then stop whining and buy your current man all the food and snacks that he wants.
    9. I mean treat your king and honor him with all of your strength until you’re exhausted and it’s too late in the day to do anything else.
20. You cook all the dinners.
    1. You need to be cooking all the dinners for your man and provide for him as if you really do love him.
    2. I mean for god’s sake, fake it till you make it!
21. You wash his dishes.
    1. While he relaxes on the recliner in the living room and watches tv.
    2. When he glances at you standing in front of the sink, just smile, because remember, you love him.
22. You do all the chores in the house.
    1. So your man can enjoy the beautiful warm sunny day outside with his best friend…a dog.
23. Let him be a stay at home dad while you work two jobs to provide for the kids that you had during your previous incompetent marriages that you ruined.
    1. Because god only knows what you have planned for the current sucker that you decided to marry.
24. Your attention.
    1. You should be paying attention to him more often than your own nose.
    2. Because he is the prize, not you.
    3. I mean, why do you take so many selfies?
    4. You don’t feel sorry for yourself do you?
25. A massage.
    1. Because you put a lot of stress on his shoulders by living with him.
    2. I mean the least you can do is rub him the correct way since day after day you rub him the wrong way.
26. Shine his boots.
    1. While he’s wearing them and looking down at you.
    2. And do it with passion.
27. Let him go on family walks with his dog and your guys’ kids.
    1. While you stay at home and vacuum the carpet and do household chores.
    2. Remember to sweep and mop too.
28. You do all of the yard work and gardening.
    1. While your man relaxes in a lawn chair on the patio and watches you from the comfort of the cool shade sipping on ice cold lemonade.
29. Stop thinking about yourself and put your man first.
    1. Even though you do all of the chores and pay all the bills, your husband is head of the household, not you.
    2. He’s also calm, cool, and collective, unlike your emotionally disturbed self.
30. Buy him a nice suite.
    1. So he’ll look nice when you follow him around out in public.
31. Stop pestering him with your petty life complaints.
    1. I mean jesus!
    2. Leave him alone.
    3. Go see a professional psychiatrist if you need to and let your man live in peace and silence without you constantly bickering about your deranged life.

Before we go I’ll leave you with these final words of wisdom.

Remember, even god chose a man to be his only begotten child rather than a woman.

Cheers!