- You smite your congregation of their income.
- The laying on of hands is your favorite hobby.
- You use enticing words to convince your congregation that they are investing in their future by them giving you money when really all they are doing is investing in YOUR future retirement.
- You don’t tithe your ten percent but you expect your congregation to tithe theirs.
- You have to withhold ten percent of your employees income when your congregation’s tithe revenue starts to decline.
- You tell your congregation that tithing isn’t about money; however, you still welcome monetary tithes with open arms.
- Your church is so strapped on cash that you’ve put tithe boxes by the entrance doors.
- Speaking gibberish makes you a church elder.
- You expect your congregation to pay your bills.
- You hear a moaning from inside and you say it was the holy spirit when in reality all it was was from your church’s doughnuts that you ate before service.
- A lavish lifestyle is a humble lifestyle.
- The god you worship during tax season is the IRS.
- You’d rather believe than know.
- You teach that being born again means spirit morphing rather than what it actually says, “to be born again” … reincarnated back on the earth.
- You disregard that “amen” is Ra’s first name.
- You have to refinance your house and take out a second mortgage when your congregation aren’t tithing enough of their own money to support your financial mistakes.
Before we go I’ll leave you with this thought.
You know how members of the church practice the laying on of hands. It kind of makes you wonder what Jesus and his disciples were doing out in the wilderness all that time.
Things that make you go “hmm…”
