You know you’re in a multi-level marketing cult when…

1. You’re not creative enough to think of a business idea of your own.
2. You’re not self employed.
3. You drive across the state to attend monthly cult gatherings.
4. You break your parent’s furniture when you don’t get what you want.
5. You value your friends over your family.
6. You consider successful people who aren’t in an mlm cult toxic.
7. You sell over priced bottled water and makeup products.
8. You consider yourself entitled.
9. You expect a red carpet to be rolled out in front of you wherever you go
10. You expect your parents to waste their precious retirement years by babysitting your kids rather than being a responsible parent and hiring a babysitter.
11. You live with your parents because…why would you want to move out, live on your own, and take care of yourself?
12. Once your kids are asleep you sneak out of the house and leave your parents to watch your kids while you frolic with your friend with benefits.
13. You’re an irresponsible single parent and you want to prove to people that you’re strong and independent by subtly taking advantage of those around you.
14. You know more than the other person.
15. You have something to prove.
16. You expect people to feel sorry for you for you’re past mistakes.
17. You expect people to hold your hand through life.
18. You expect other people to share in with your emotional mood swings.
19. You call yourself a finance expert because you keep all of your unspent money in a savings account earning a 1% annual interest.
20. You’re not a stock market investor.
21. You’re not a dividend growth investor.
22. Tax deductions are a way of life.
23. You get audited by the irs on a regular basis.
24. You don’t know what dividends are.
25. You call yourself a business owner of a business you don’t even own.
26. You call yourself a business owner by selling a company’s products and not your own.
27. You think by purchasing certificates of deposit makes you a finance genius.
28. You’re not a published author.
29. You buy more books than you sell.
30. You still live with your parents.
31. You attend church.
32. You’ve never been successful in your life.
33. You know more than someone else.
34. You consider your monthly purchases of overpriced bottled water and makeup products investments but really they’re just over priced bottled water and makeup products.
35. You know everything.
36. You’re a keyboard warrior.
37. Calm, cool, and collective is boring.
38. You’ve been in multiple relationships.
39. You need to dress up to feel good about yourself.
40. You need to keep secrets to feel accepted.
41. You sell another company’s products.
42. You sell someone else’s books rather than your own.
43. You purchase bulk orders of overpriced products every month and try to convince yourself that they are investments to avoid calling them for what they really are…a total waste of money.
44. You buy more books than you write.
45. You are confused by improper grammar.
46. You have to search on the internet what anything in this article means.

Before you go, I’ll leave you with these words from christ himself while he was praying in the garden of gethsemane…

“Dear God, it’s you…Jesus.”

Cheers!